Was Lost and Now I'm Found....

It's been a long while since last update and soooo much has changed!  Looking back over posts from earlier this year it seems like I don't even recognize the person that must have previously inhabited this body.

Let's just say I've discovered a few things:

1. Faith works. 
2. Life falls apart, then has a way of coming back together.  Then it becomes clear why it needed to fall apart.
3. The universe is chaotic....yet in the chaos, it manages to produce order.
4. Staying true to yourself is a must to keep sane.
5. When you ask God to give you the wisdom to know when He opens doors for you and which ones you should walk through......WATCH OUT!!!!.   He may start swinging doors open left and right and you find yourself back on the right path!
6. I now know absolute love.......finally.
7. We have paths, even destinies.........sometimes it takes years to circumnavigate that path and find the people and opportunities that one is destined to find.
8. Hope.
9. Perserverance pays off.  Don't give up.
10. I thought I knew what "falling in love" was all about.  I now know what it REALLY means......and wow......it is POWERFUL STUFF!!  I mean, who would've known?! 


Most important thing I've discovered.................I LOVE YOU JO!!!  You helped me know how to live...brought me happiness....are an amazing person, soul, lover....and don't believe you will ever really know what I see when I look in your eyes.  Thank you baby.

Enrique Inglesias........I Will Survive (and I will!)

Quote From Unknown Source....

I thinks it is ironic we tend to ignore the ones who adore us, adore the ones who ignore us, love the ones who hurt us... and hurt the ones who love us.

Seeing You Was Good (but crap it still hurts!)

    Ardell,
            Thank you for stopping by today to pick up that stuff.  Thank you even more for wanting to stay and visit with Coco and Ginger.  They've missed you.  You say that they're mine, but like I told you, they're your girls too. 
            I wanted to reach out and hold you and not let go.  Damn!  I've been preparing all week for this short visit.  Told myself I'd be aloof, friendly, and dressed nicely just to show you I'm ok.  Crap!  I miss the "us" from 4 years ago!  I see how we both lost each other a long time ago, but inside I always was in love with you very deeply.  And the hard thing is....I STILL AM!!!!  
           Everyone keeps giving me advice about this and that.  I know deep in my soul that when you finally won me over all those years ago, you had me forever.  I've tried to date and I feel like crap afterwards!  I want to date you!   I want to look over and see you on the sofa or in the kitchen!
          When I said that in case you wake up one day and realize you messed up and realize how much you're missing out on by having left.....and that you're welcome back.....I mean't it!  I cannot love anyone else.  It's not fair!  People keep telling me "that's life".  Yeah, well they can go fuck themselves! 
          When you left, I calmly walked inside....and fell apart.  God I love you.  There is such a huge hole inside!  I've been working on cooking skills, go to the grocery store, clip coupons.....all that stuff, just to show that I am more than happy to do whatever it takes to make your life easier and show you I care.
          Thanks again for coming.  I mean it.....you're welcome anytime to see the girls.  They are OUR girls! 

Remember.