Thursday, December 2, 2010


Is a boyfriend who would rather spend time with online porn than be with you considered cheating?  Maybe not in the physical sense yet it still feels the same. 

I try to fulfill a persons every need, be there for them when necessary, only to realize you're a patsy....only to feel like a fool (not to mention undesirable).  

Same ole look for love, something real.....deep.  Yet you're just a tool, a temporary obsession or fascination.......and once again find that you have served your usefullness and are no longer wanted.  

The insult of it all is the worst part.  

Thanks buddy.......for reminding me that I'm trying to find something that doesn't exist.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010



Monday, November 15, 2010

Just wondering.........

Can we really trust anyone?

just wondering

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Still lost..?

Ok.  Here is the deal.  Is it just a fantasy to expect to be loved unconditionally and for no other reason than you matter to someone?

My experience is that you can be the object of someone's affection if:

  • You can be a stepping stone if they realize you can be helpful in helping them attain their agenda.;
  • You have financial means that helps them enjoy a better lifestyle.  this usually goes along with the first statement.;
  • You are considered attractive and the physical attention is a boost......but you'll usually find that there is no love involved from the other party;
  • You provide all the concessions.  Makes things easy for them.;
  • You are willing to give of yourself under a false set of assumptions (that you are working on building a relationship).  You'll most likely give of yourself until you are empty.......then you will find you have served your purpose. we are.  Again.