Ardell,
Thank you for stopping by today to pick up that stuff. Thank you even more for wanting to stay and visit with Coco and Ginger. They've missed you. You say that they're mine, but like I told you, they're your girls too.
I wanted to reach out and hold you and not let go. Damn! I've been preparing all week for this short visit. Told myself I'd be aloof, friendly, and dressed nicely just to show you I'm ok. Crap! I miss the "us" from 4 years ago! I see how we both lost each other a long time ago, but inside I always was in love with you very deeply. And the hard thing is....I STILL AM!!!!
Everyone keeps giving me advice about this and that. I know deep in my soul that when you finally won me over all those years ago, you had me forever. I've tried to date and I feel like crap afterwards! I want to date you! I want to look over and see you on the sofa or in the kitchen!
When I said that in case you wake up one day and realize you messed up and realize how much you're missing out on by having left.....and that you're welcome back.....I mean't it! I cannot love anyone else. It's not fair! People keep telling me "that's life". Yeah, well they can go fuck themselves!
When you left, I calmly walked inside....and fell apart. God I love you. There is such a huge hole inside! I've been working on cooking skills, go to the grocery store, clip coupons.....all that stuff, just to show that I am more than happy to do whatever it takes to make your life easier and show you I care.
Thanks again for coming. I mean it.....you're welcome anytime to see the girls. They are OUR girls!
Remember.
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