How To Break Up With Someone (with my comments of course)

How To Break Up With Someone (with my comments of course)

When the time to end the relationship has come, prepare yourself and plan it. Remember, there is always the possibility of inflicting so much pain to a person you used to (or still) care about.

(I need a plan?)

1. Plan when and where you should tell the person of your intention to break up. Do not just call or email the person that you want to break up. That will be horrible and can show disrespect to the person’s feelings.

(I kinda like the email approach!)

2. Be ready with your reason. If somebody is going to break up with me, I at least would like to know why. There is no need to construct a nice movie-line type of reason. It is better to be honest. You have chosen to leave the person; you owe him/her at least the truth. Because once they find out that you just gave excuses, then you might lose respect for each other.

(The truth? hmmmmm....so saying "You bore the shit out of me!" is OK?

3. Be clear with your intentions. Do not say "I just need some time off" if you really mean permanent goodbye. This will give the person false hopes. If it is absolutely over, then let him/her know. If you don’t, they might try things to win you back, wasting time, effort and emotions.

(Again, email would take care of this.)

4. It is totally unnecessary to make a litany of the things you did not like about your partner, as this may only lead to a heated argument. It is horrible enough that you are calling it quits, but it is even more terrible if you start bringing up mistakes from the past and other unpleasant situations.

(So now what do I do with my lists I've been making for weeks?)

5. Do not make the break up longer than it is supposed to. It might only gear towards more misunderstandings, serious arguing and yes, physical attacks. Consider how hurt the person must be. So, if you feel he/she has to be left alone already then do not linger anymore. It is going to be like torture.

6. And, do not expect your ex-partner to be friends with you immediately. Just because it is okay with you does not mean that it is okay with them. It will take some time before a person, after being broken up with, to be ready for friendship.

(Who wants to be friends? I'm breaking up for christs sake!)

Update 06/08/10:  I posted this awhile ago thinking it was snarky humor.  Recently became the person that got dumped.  This isnt so funny anymore.