Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Something Unexpected.....Dreams

     Well, it happened.  I was up very early today, did some laundry, folded sheets, etc... .   I guess I ended up sitting down on the sofa with Coco and Ginger and eventually fell asleep. 

    My next memory is standing in bathroom, brushing my teeth or something, and you standing at the doorway.  Blue shorts, white t-shirt, sandals.  At first it was natural, than I realized YOU WERE STANDING IN THE DOORWAY!

    That's the point, in all good dreaming, that I was so full of joy, shock and bewilderment.  Next thing I am slowly moving from that perfect world then hazily entering back to this world.  The pain, emptiness, and sorrow shot through my gut all at once.  I even started crying for goodness sake!

   Fracking dreams!!!! 

   Crap, I miss you so much.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Give Up or Not?


I'm usually not a quitter.  Today I am.  Can't take the hurt.  Too much loss.  Too much pain.  I fucking give up.  What about the girls?  They are my purpose.  Is it enough.  I dont know if I can be any good to them. 

Holy fuck I hurt bad!  Was doing good on new medication.  Now today, I'm thinking very dark thoughts.  Me!  That's crazy!  It's fucking selfish to go that direction.  Still, I hurt so bad.